The thousand mile journey...

There is nothing quite so imposing as looking at something you NEED to do...something that is rather large, and quite life-dependent, and knowing that despite the fact that you're an intelligent enough person, you have no idea where to start. My husband and I have known, as long as we've known each other, that at some point, the excrement would hit the ventilator and we would have to do something about our weight. The problem has always been that my husband is an INCREDIBLE cook, and we both LOVE food. He felt his calling within the church was to serve the church body through Wednesday night meals - dinners for the whole church body in between work and the beginning of our Wednesday night programming. He rocked at food prep, but I will be honest with you. While I can handle the administrative side of things, I really, really hated almost every other aspect of those meals. Let me plan the meal - great. Let me order and shop for the food...pretty good, although sometimes that got tedious when costs weren't what I needed them to be. Cook the food...not my strong suit, but I enjoyed the fellowship. Serving the food...well...that was just stressful to me as we only had a short amount of time, and the amount of food just never seemed to be exactly right. Cleaning...rake me across the coals. That was my least favorite. I know, total white girl problem, quit complaining, wah wah wah. But - I'm just saying - I never felt called to that role in any way other than that I loved providing something the people of our church really needed, and I loved supporting my husband (as much as he may have driven me a little batty in the process.) But there's a new calling we're trying to respond to, and that is the call for both of us to become healthier. While we both love each other exactly where we are, neither of us is happy with how we feel every day, how we sleep, or our ability in performing any task that requires much exertion. We want that to change. Therein lies the journey of a thousand miles. With weight loss, they tell you many things. Set goals, but don't make them too far out - the big picture is a little too intimidating. Don't look at it as a sprint - this is a life change. Love who you are no matter what, deal with the REASONS you eat, find things you love that aren't food related. (Also, blah blah blah blah blah.) I have lost count of how many different weight loss programs and diets I have done. I can't even tell you how much money I have spent on gym memberships that went mostly unused. I have even had custom designed menu plans and vitamins just for my needs. The fact that they never made any difference is the number one thing that stands in my way of trying again. Well, that's a little bit untrue. There is one time in my life where I experienced successful weight loss and appropriate nutrition - the time while I was pregnant with my youngest child. I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes, and had a friend who also had GD give birth while I was still in the first trimester of my pregnancy. Seeing what they went through with the premature birth and ensuing hospitalization in a completely different hospital of their child, I was DETERMINED not to do that to my child. Add to that the fact that my thyroid condition had led my obstetrician to tell me not to even try getting pregnant until my thyroid was under control, and I was bound and determined to do EVERYTHING by the book. Consequently, between the second trimester of my pregnancy and 6 weeks postpartum, I lost 70 lbs. I have since put all of it back on. The important thing there is, with the right motivation, I KNOW I can lose the weight, the right way, and feel good doing it. Why then, does looking at what needs to be done here make me feel like it's such an impossible goal. And really, as my husband and I BOTH need to make this journey, how can we help others who need to do the same thing, in an environment where none of us feel judged or embarrassed, where we can deal with everything that needs to be dealt with, and most of all, where we can make changes that will last? So that's my project. (Which, starting my new job in 2 weeks, now is probably NOT the time to start this, but alas...here goes!)