Yesterday, I finished my work 'week' (I work a lot of hours in 3 1/2 days, then have 3 1/2 off). When I am working, I pretty much 'tune out' of what is going on in the world. It doesn't allow time for me to watch the news, and my downtime on those days is entirely spent running household things - swapping loads of laundry, unclogging the toilet the 4-year-old clogged again (or as in yesterday's case, EXTRA DEEP CLEANING THE TOILET). Basically I have 4 days a week when I have no idea what is going on outside of my house.
So when I logged in to facebook yesterday afternoon, and saw all these red 'equal' signs on people's facebook profiles, (yet another form of slacktivisim - this time to show support for gay marriage), I struggled with how to feel. One of our friends posted on her page specifically targeting Christians being bigots, and it poked me particularly hard. Now don't get me wrong - I LOVE a good argument. I really do. I love debate. I love making my point. I love the back and forth, the mental challenge of forming the perfect response. I love it. But when I read this, from another friend, it just....I just sat there so incredibly tired. And the equal sign icons were EVERYWHERE....and I sat there on the couch reading my facebook page feeling completely like...giving up. Like God...I am pretty sure I know your side, and I know what to say, and I KNOW you win in the end...but...I don't have the energy to take this on. I can't do it anymore. I have had this exact same discussion with this exact same person on at least 2 other occasions. And I am just so done having the same discussion and having no impact!!!
God....you have to do this because I don't have the energy for it!!!!
Yeah, I actually did say that last part.
With the exclamation points.
All of them.
And I just here for a minute. I did post on the comment - praying for revelation of the true nature of God for them, and left it alone (despite multiple attempts to pull me back in). I changed my profile picture to one of my favorite (albeit probably incorrect) depictions of Jesus, and I got up, opened a bottle of wine, and enjoyed my evening with my family.
When my husband got home, he shared something with me I hadn't been expecting.
The friend of ours - the very one who had posted that bit against Christians, had messaged my husband. She asked him to help HER husband, who is struggling right now, because he KNOWS there has to be something more. Something MORE to life than what he's been feeling. His wife is pagan, and militantly anti-Christian.
And she asked my husband to help her husband explore a relationship with God.
...
I don't HAVE to fight the battles with words. I don't have to expend energy defending my God until I am so burned out on it, I just want to vegetate. I just have to pray. I just have to ask God.
Huh.
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