I did fine yesterday. My girl did fine too. She had reached the point yesterday where she just wanted to be GONE already. We stood around at the airport for a long time, and spent a good amount of time taking pictures and praying over them. Finally it was time for them to go up to their plane, and we found a spot in the food court to watch some planes fly by (as you do, when you have a 3-year-old). I hadn't fully intended to stay there for an hour, but in the end, I just wanted to watch her plane take off.
I didn't cry, which I was sure I would. I trust God for great things with this group, and that trust removed any fear or sadness that would have brought on tears.
I tracked her plane throughout the two flights (an old habit from when I traveled frequently), and knew before they sent out the email that the plane had landed safely. We haven't had any updates today, but we know they all were tucked in safe at the place they're staying, and ready to start their adventure today.
There was a moment, after I crawled into bed last night, and laid there thinking about it...and for a moment I did get sad. For a moment, I just wanted my baby girl. I wanted to be able to hold her, or talk to her, or even text her - none of which I will be able to do for a month. I may get an email or a facebook update once a week IF they have good internet access, but otherwise...it will be a month of blind trust that God has my girl right where HE wants her, and that's good enough.
It's funny....both my husband and I looked at each other last night and kind of had the same feeling...not sad, not scared...just not sure how we're supposed to feel, you know? If I listened to my mother, we should be devastated and consumed with fear for what will happen to K. But really - it just feels ok, you know? And it feels a little weird that it feels so ok. I know my mother, in some regard, thinks I somehow don't love K rightly since I am ok with her going...but that's the condemning voice that has haunted me all my life, and I'm just not interested in what it has to say anymore!
And then, yesterday after she left it was all back into the routine. I had to work, in the evening my husband had guitar lessons, and then he had to work...this morning it was my turn to take the kids to school, and then C and I went and got her a donut, which we do every Friday.
It's a normal day, just one of my kids happens to be 3,000 miles away! (Why would that feel so much better if I was in New York and she was in California?)
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