LORD! Please change them faster!!!

Today was one of those days...man...where I just hate that things don't happen in MY timing. I have really been sitting here for the last hour or so...with my old 'fleshy' self fighting for control. Wanting to post some sort of veiled, but not really, facebook post - specific enough that those it is intended for KNOW it's for them, but without publicly calling them out... ... But what good would that do, really? What I am struggling with, really, is that...I just anticipated bigger changes in some people from time spent in a particular program. Today, because they were stressed, and because they could, they took their stress out on an easy target. That target happened to be MY kid...who is a woman, and yet - is still my kid. Don't get me wrong - that kid can handle things on her own - but...in her stressed state of mind today, and in trying to do her absolute best, she was an easy target today, and called me in tears. I'm not saying she's perfect. I'm not saying she did everything right. I just...expected more from the people she's serving with in this particular group than outright nastiness and verbal abuse when they are trying to complete a project. So I have been sitting here, with any number of thoughts running through my head. Was it the right thing to let her do this program? I mean - she loved it, wanted to do another year - but can't...and that in and of itself threw us into a frenzy of last minute college planning - too late to get scholarships she likely would have qualified for. And for what...for her to be the target for some particularly nasty behavior from other kids in her group. I know - that is part of growing up. Part of this process is maturing, and especially giving that pain over to God - particularly when you've been treated unfairly - forgiving, and letting God heal your hurts. I'm not sure what I'm more bothered by...that my daughter was treated badly, or that I had hoped this had been an experience that would have changed some of them so profoundly that they wouldn't behave the way they did today. And then I realize - who am I to judge how much they changed? Who am I to understand what work has been done in them this year. Yeah, they behaved poorly today, but...that's certainly no more than I've been guilty of countless times in the past - and have thankfully been forgiven (at least by God). The time is short for them to move past this...and I grieve that this group hasn't become as close as some of the groups in years past. I am sad the experience didn't turn into what I had envisioned it being. But...is has helped my girl in her metamorphosis. My sweet baby is becoming a beautiful young woman, inside and out - regardless of who tries to rip her wings off.